


How It Hurts to Reflect

by nathans_tales



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst, F/F, Genderqueer Character, Halen is just gay and trying her best, Hurt/Comfort, Morrigan is lowkey traumatized and Flemeth can fuckin choke, Trans Tabris
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-28 14:35:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12608796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nathans_tales/pseuds/nathans_tales
Summary: Halen bares her heart, but Morrigan struggles to understand.





	How It Hurts to Reflect

The fire crackled in front of Morrigan as the flames illuminated her golden eyes. She sat still, gazing into the fire, seeming deep in thought. Halen hesitated as she approached; she was never certain when she was welcome to interrupt her raven haired lover. She sat beside Morrigan without a word, deciding to let her choose when to engage. She’d learned it was sometimes better that way.

After a minute of staring into the fire, trying to see whatever it was that held the mage’s attention so fiercely, Halen felt the brush of fingertips against her arm. “You’ve finally decided to join me, it seems. ‘Tis nice to see that you’ve returned from your trip unscathed,” Morrigan said.

“Sorry I took so long, I had to unload my pack,” Halen replied.

“I quite understand; leave me waiting until I grow impatient and drag you into my tent, yes?” Morrigan teased, a playful smile pulling at her lips. Halen returned the smile and leaned in for a kiss, savoring the way Morrigan sighed against her lips. It had taken awhile for them to get to this point, to ease into this comfort, this softness. Neither of them had made it easy—each bearing their own scars to soothe—but Halen wouldn’t trade the past months they’d spent slowly falling together for anything.

Halen pulled back from the kiss after a few moments, earning an annoyed huff from the other woman, and reached into her bag. “I have something for you,” she explained. She pulled out a glittering object and presented it, biting her lip with surprising shyness.

Morrigan’s eyes grew wide as she realized that what Halen held was a golden mirror, exactly like the one she had stolen so many years ago and couldn’t save from Flemeth’s wrath. Her breath fled for a moment as she remembered the sight of the mirror shattered on the ground before her, her mother standing above it with no trace of remorse.

She willed herself back to the present, to the woman sitting in front of her. She was nothing like Flemeth; her eyes held kindness instead of malice, her lips spoke words of honesty rather than manipulation, and her hands gave comfort and bliss instead of harshness and pain. In those hands she held the mirror, an offer to Morrigan as if it was no burden at all. She wasn’t sure what to make of that.

“It is… just the same as the mirror which Flemeth smashed on the ground, so long ago,” Morrigan whispered. Halen nodded and extended her hands forwards, encouraging Morrigan to take the mirror. Morrigan hesitantly reached for it, still not convinced the mirror would truly be there when she touched it. She gently wrapped her fingers around the mirror, turning it slowly in examination. “It is incredible that you found one so like it. I am uncertain what to say… you must wish something in return, certainly.”

Halen faltered for a moment, slightly taken aback. “Oh, no, it’s just a gift. I don’t need anything for it. I found it and knew—or, hoped—that you would love it.”

Morrigan paused in thought before replying, “I have… never received a gift. Not one that did not also come with a price attached. Why would you do this for me?”

For a moment Halen wasn’t sure how to respond. She hadn’t realized it before, but suddenly the reason struck her and she _knew_.

“Because I love you,” she answered, the words seeming as simple and true as the air they breathed, as the fire that burned beside them.

Morrigan froze, eyes locked with Halen’s but unreadable. Halen’s stomach clenched as she waited for a response, fearing that Morrigan would push her away. She knew how the mage felt about such matters of the heart, what her mother had taught her to believe. Morrigan pulled her eyes away and clutched the mirror tighter.

“ _Love?_ Love is a ridiculous notion, surely you know that,” Morrigan nearly hissed, but it didn’t sound as though she truly believed her own words. “Love is trivial, a weakness…” she murmured, trailing off as Halen reached for her cheek. The elf gently urged Morrigan to meet her gaze, heart pounding.

“I know you don’t believe that, Morrigan. Love isn’t weakness, but even if it were, that doesn’t make it any less true,” Halen insisted. “ _I love you_ ,” she whispered again, “and that’s not a bad thing.”

Morrigan’s eyes brimmed with tears as she listened. “Halen, I do not—I mean, I _do_ but… I _can’t_.”

Halen knew what she meant, and found a sliver of relief in knowing that Morrigan did return her love, even if she was too scared to allow it.

“I’m not asking you to say, or even believe it right now, Morrigan. You asked why I would do this and that’s the answer. I’m not asking for anything you’re not yet willing to give,” she said, brushing a tear from her lover’s cheek.  


Morrigan was silent for a moment before she reached out to grasp Halen’s hand reassuringly. “I will need… some time to consider what you have said, but will you stay for the night?” Morrigan asked.

“Of course,” Halen replied, pulling her close.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on my tumblr (nathans-tales) for aquarliyus: http://nathans-tales.tumblr.com/post/167058517174/alrighttttt-lets-crack-open-a-cold-on


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